Thursday, July 2, 2009
Destructive Behavior
My destructive behavior is throwing things away I deem to be clutter, useless, worn out or not wanted at that time. This isn't too bad, but it can cause an ounce of regret afterwards. My other destructive behavior is whitewashing my canvases. One down, three more to go. There are no photos or scans of the paintings. They won't be missed by me and I doubt others will miss any of them either. The only thing they may have served as is a testament to my progress as a painter. I don't even think anyone outside this house has seen the paintings at more than just a glance; they are that forgettable and vapid.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Fancy Hats
After much thought and consideration I'm going to be making a few hats to see how they sell. I might also be selling the hat I wore at the wedding.
The question is, should I make a whole new Etsy account or try another site? I don't want to use eBay; I'm not too hip on their set up now a days. I'm used to selling art and jewelry, but not something like this. Any input?
The question is, should I make a whole new Etsy account or try another site? I don't want to use eBay; I'm not too hip on their set up now a days. I'm used to selling art and jewelry, but not something like this. Any input?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Random
The smell of a cold half eaten burger and chicken nuggets was mingling with the scent of cold seeping in through the cracked car windows. The scenery of Harpersville Road around twilight with a close friend too tired to drive teetering in and out of consciousness in the passenger seat was all too familiar. I'd been there before so many times in the past. It was a long forgotten dream; or maybe even a nightmare with a silver lining, revisited. My awful escape from the grim reality of what brought me to Virginia for the first time nearly eight years ago was a retreat that led me to befriend some of the most wonderfully complicated, beautiful, strange, broken and resilient people I've ever met in my life.
With every mile I saw something that brought fond and at times horrible memories to the surface. It made me wonder if I was a different person than I was back then. Had I really changed like everyone had said or was it just my mantra of environment dictating behavior? I pondered it a bit as I headed south towards Norfolk. Most of those who had shared those moments with me are too far away or so detached from me that I couldn't ask their opinion; I'm not even sure I'd want it. Most of them were just as flawed and broken as I had been. Misery doesn't just love company, but it also likes room mates.
When I finally was able to take off later that evening I stared out the window and tried to see how many landmarks I could recognize. I had a memory for almost all of them. Leaving and coming back made me realize I had changed. Texas hadn't changed me, the experience of living in Virginia had changed me; it just hadn't surfaced until I had left there. I took with me the realization that I wasn't as flawed as I thought and I was better than what I had let myself be. Circumstances while there were beyond my control and my only alternative was to sink further into that abysmal hell that Virginia so easily provides to those who will let themselves take up residence in it.
With every mile I saw something that brought fond and at times horrible memories to the surface. It made me wonder if I was a different person than I was back then. Had I really changed like everyone had said or was it just my mantra of environment dictating behavior? I pondered it a bit as I headed south towards Norfolk. Most of those who had shared those moments with me are too far away or so detached from me that I couldn't ask their opinion; I'm not even sure I'd want it. Most of them were just as flawed and broken as I had been. Misery doesn't just love company, but it also likes room mates.
When I finally was able to take off later that evening I stared out the window and tried to see how many landmarks I could recognize. I had a memory for almost all of them. Leaving and coming back made me realize I had changed. Texas hadn't changed me, the experience of living in Virginia had changed me; it just hadn't surfaced until I had left there. I took with me the realization that I wasn't as flawed as I thought and I was better than what I had let myself be. Circumstances while there were beyond my control and my only alternative was to sink further into that abysmal hell that Virginia so easily provides to those who will let themselves take up residence in it.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Less Than Three Days
I don't know why I'm nervous, but I am. I shouldn't be; I'm not the one getting married!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Long Nights
Sometimes I prefer not to know when something bad is about to happen. At times I'd rather know after it has happened. When you learn that things might go bad suddenly it turns into a long wait. No one wants to feel like they are sitting by helplessly waiting for someone to die. They'd like to think of it as waiting for things to get better, waiting for a change. When the odds are stacked up against someone it really does feel like you are just waiting to be crushed by the inevitable.
I can't sleep. I haven't been able to sleep much since Tuesday morning. On Monday night I had this feeling I'd never see the man I know as my dad again. I was half tempted to call him, but I dismissed it.
Truth be told I've seen more of my father in law over the past ten years than I have my own dad. In his own way I suppose he's doted on me in small ways that one would their own; I have some damn fine and expensive art supplies that I only dreamed about at some points. He's taken care of my children as if I was his own and done the same for me when I needed it. In a way I guess there may have been some premonition there.
I could of lived with out it and this damn long night that is far from over. If Rob hadn't of called to tell me what the doctors had said to him I probably would of fallen asleep by now. A 20% chance of making it through the night isn't very good odds. I had thought about telling the children, but I felt it best to let them go to bed. The last thought before falling asleep shouldn't wondering if they would see their grandfather again.
I'm keeping my hopes up, but I am trying to prepare myself for the worst. I think out of the lot of us I've seen the most people go. I will have to be a rock through this one right next to Rob.
I can't sleep. I haven't been able to sleep much since Tuesday morning. On Monday night I had this feeling I'd never see the man I know as my dad again. I was half tempted to call him, but I dismissed it.
Truth be told I've seen more of my father in law over the past ten years than I have my own dad. In his own way I suppose he's doted on me in small ways that one would their own; I have some damn fine and expensive art supplies that I only dreamed about at some points. He's taken care of my children as if I was his own and done the same for me when I needed it. In a way I guess there may have been some premonition there.
I could of lived with out it and this damn long night that is far from over. If Rob hadn't of called to tell me what the doctors had said to him I probably would of fallen asleep by now. A 20% chance of making it through the night isn't very good odds. I had thought about telling the children, but I felt it best to let them go to bed. The last thought before falling asleep shouldn't wondering if they would see their grandfather again.
I'm keeping my hopes up, but I am trying to prepare myself for the worst. I think out of the lot of us I've seen the most people go. I will have to be a rock through this one right next to Rob.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
St. Patrick's Day
"The things that matter most in life are the things that blind side you on some idle Tuesday."
So the most publicized speech from my graduating year went. This token of advice rang true once again this morning. Around six in the morning I woke up to the sound of a persistent ring. Rings are always persistent when your sixth sense tells you it's something important or someone who feels they are. This was important.
My mother in law was on the phone, "Mel can I talk to Bobby, it's Mom." During weak moments she refers to herself as my Mom. I knew something was wrong from the start. Half asleep I passed the phone off to the Captain. He hung up the phone with a sigh and slept a little longer. Then another call sometime later. This time he was up and out the door.
His father had indigestion last night shortly after we had dinner. This morning it still hadn't gone away and his pain was worse. He decided to go to the ER at St. Josephs next to NASA. Within an hour we found out they caught the start of a third heart attack. He was medi-vaced to Methodist Memorial in Houston. He is having angioplasty and in stable condition.
Right now Rob is driving his mother around. The first time this happened he was the last to know; the second time he was eight thousand miles away. This time he is here and taking control of everything. Corbin is out in the cold feeling awful and riding his bike. His last words to his grandfather were the kind muddled with preteen angst and immature glares. Bobby is doing his own thing, the apathetic shell of Aspergers with an analytical core.
Me, I just said good bye to the Captain and his mom. They came by to talk to the children and let me know what was going on for the moment. She reached out to give me a big hug when she saw me, I could tell she needed it and I realized I need it too. After handing his mother a book to read we said our goodbyes. I didn't have any romance novels but I did hand her Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt. It's not her normal reading material, but it has yet to disappoint anyone.
All of this changes everything. I don't know where anyone will be in the next month. The Patriarch might not make it through, which means drastic changes around here. He was the first to even like me in the family and has always stuck up for my end. I don't know exactly what and how I'll feel when the time comes.
So the most publicized speech from my graduating year went. This token of advice rang true once again this morning. Around six in the morning I woke up to the sound of a persistent ring. Rings are always persistent when your sixth sense tells you it's something important or someone who feels they are. This was important.
My mother in law was on the phone, "Mel can I talk to Bobby, it's Mom." During weak moments she refers to herself as my Mom. I knew something was wrong from the start. Half asleep I passed the phone off to the Captain. He hung up the phone with a sigh and slept a little longer. Then another call sometime later. This time he was up and out the door.
His father had indigestion last night shortly after we had dinner. This morning it still hadn't gone away and his pain was worse. He decided to go to the ER at St. Josephs next to NASA. Within an hour we found out they caught the start of a third heart attack. He was medi-vaced to Methodist Memorial in Houston. He is having angioplasty and in stable condition.
Right now Rob is driving his mother around. The first time this happened he was the last to know; the second time he was eight thousand miles away. This time he is here and taking control of everything. Corbin is out in the cold feeling awful and riding his bike. His last words to his grandfather were the kind muddled with preteen angst and immature glares. Bobby is doing his own thing, the apathetic shell of Aspergers with an analytical core.
Me, I just said good bye to the Captain and his mom. They came by to talk to the children and let me know what was going on for the moment. She reached out to give me a big hug when she saw me, I could tell she needed it and I realized I need it too. After handing his mother a book to read we said our goodbyes. I didn't have any romance novels but I did hand her Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt. It's not her normal reading material, but it has yet to disappoint anyone.
All of this changes everything. I don't know where anyone will be in the next month. The Patriarch might not make it through, which means drastic changes around here. He was the first to even like me in the family and has always stuck up for my end. I don't know exactly what and how I'll feel when the time comes.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Kings
Kings brings back an old leitmotif of war and regalia with a contemporary face. Imagine the epic drama of Sir Thomas Malory splicing with the modern monarchy headlines and then imagine the backdrop being a mesh of Americana and Britannia; this is Kings.
Like most females I'm easily lured and swept away by dramas with knights sweeping princesses away. However, I think it makes the deal a little sweeter when there is some treason, treachery and blood shed.
Chris Egan(Eragon, Resident Evil: Extinction) and Ian McShane(Deadwood, Deathrace, Coraline) bring a new face to the tale of David and Goliath. In a time where there is turmoil between modern thinking, tradition and the church the show mirrors some of the thoughts and questions that occupy our own minds.
Not only was the show thought provoking but the aesthetic value completely sucked me in. Cinematography, costuming and the depictions of battle were beautiful. This show will either take home some Emmy awards next year or it will fade into obscurity after a good first season and end up on DVD in time for Christmas this year.
I have high expectations for this show after a stunning debut. It has a fifty fifty chance of letting me down. Keeping a biblical tale entertaining and fresh takes talent. Heroes has kept me sucked in despite the ups and downs, hopefully Michael Green can sustain Kings with that same magic he breathed into Heroes.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Lucky
The day came and went without a dent in the fender. Friday the 13th doesn't seem to carry the same sort of mythos that is did when I was younger. When asking a child about it their Friday the 13th they seemed lost, asking if they forgot a holiday.
Technology and greed ate it's face.
They'll get the Easter bunny shoved down their throats, Santa Claus and sometimes the tooth fairy but nothing else. If it doesn't surround money and gluttony the superstition and fun mythos dies. Certainly Friday the 13th isn't a great big deal, it seems to be more of an urban legend that's been there since God knows when. It's no chupacabra, but it is another part of the American fabric that seems a little more dead year after year.
Technology and greed ate it's face.
They'll get the Easter bunny shoved down their throats, Santa Claus and sometimes the tooth fairy but nothing else. If it doesn't surround money and gluttony the superstition and fun mythos dies. Certainly Friday the 13th isn't a great big deal, it seems to be more of an urban legend that's been there since God knows when. It's no chupacabra, but it is another part of the American fabric that seems a little more dead year after year.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Top Ten!
I've seen countless articles, columns and webpages on the top picks for sci-fi, fantasy and over all geek pin-ups. After a while it had me thinking, "who would I choose for my top ten beefcakes of the geek world?"
Thinking about it a while I've finally come up with a list. Please feel free to bash and add to this list of Mistress Chewtoy's Top Ten Fan Girl Beefcakes!
This is in no specific order, so here we go!
Temuera Morrison. Known as Jango Fett and Commander Cody, this Māori had to make my list.
Bruce Campbell. Yes, he has that charisma that gets him laughed at, slapped or kissed. The list of credits goes on and on.
Grant Morrison. Yes, I swoon over this Scottish writer known for his works The Invisibles, The Filth and Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth .
Vinnie Jones. "I'm Juggernaut bitch!" From Juggernaut to Bullet Tooth Tony he's intense and ruggedly handsome in his parts.
Robert Downey Jr. He pulled off Iron Man in ways I could of never imagined and portrayed James Barris of Phillip K. Dicks' A Scanner Darkly with such style and talent.
Donnie Yen. Known as Snowman of Blade II and Jin Ke in Highlander: Endgame.
Daz Crawford. Another of the Blood Pack from Blade II and currently filming The Vanquisher playing the part of Clive Maddocks.
Luke Goss. He's intense and kicks the ass of the hero before dying gracefully. His credits include; Hellboy: The Golden Army, Blade II, Tekken, A night with the King
Gavin Rossdale. This musician has been delving his fingers into the film industry for a few years now. He never really caught my eye until I saw him playing Balthazar in Constantine. Deliciously evil and filthy in the flick, he actually caught my eye.
Ben Foster. In Alpha Dog he played a Jewish Neo-Nazi and fanboys/girls know him for his roles in X-Men: The Last Stand, Six Feet Under and The Dead Zone.
Thinking about it a while I've finally come up with a list. Please feel free to bash and add to this list of Mistress Chewtoy's Top Ten Fan Girl Beefcakes!
This is in no specific order, so here we go!
Temuera Morrison. Known as Jango Fett and Commander Cody, this Māori had to make my list.
Bruce Campbell. Yes, he has that charisma that gets him laughed at, slapped or kissed. The list of credits goes on and on.
Grant Morrison. Yes, I swoon over this Scottish writer known for his works The Invisibles, The Filth and Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth .
Vinnie Jones. "I'm Juggernaut bitch!" From Juggernaut to Bullet Tooth Tony he's intense and ruggedly handsome in his parts.
Robert Downey Jr. He pulled off Iron Man in ways I could of never imagined and portrayed James Barris of Phillip K. Dicks' A Scanner Darkly with such style and talent.
Donnie Yen. Known as Snowman of Blade II and Jin Ke in Highlander: Endgame.
Daz Crawford. Another of the Blood Pack from Blade II and currently filming The Vanquisher playing the part of Clive Maddocks.
Luke Goss. He's intense and kicks the ass of the hero before dying gracefully. His credits include; Hellboy: The Golden Army, Blade II, Tekken, A night with the King
Gavin Rossdale. This musician has been delving his fingers into the film industry for a few years now. He never really caught my eye until I saw him playing Balthazar in Constantine. Deliciously evil and filthy in the flick, he actually caught my eye.
Ben Foster. In Alpha Dog he played a Jewish Neo-Nazi and fanboys/girls know him for his roles in X-Men: The Last Stand, Six Feet Under and The Dead Zone.
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